I took the kids out for the day so my husband could relax and apparently my husbands interpretation of relaxing is relaxing and not doing 16 loads of laundry. Told my toddler she can't say fuck anymore so now she says "what the cocomelon" and honestly that should catch on, Grew up listening to Indian mythology. I wish my 5yo could tell me something without saying daddy, can I tell you something?. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. me: are you talking about a BOILED egg. I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. 80% of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in and they don't hear anything you say. I sent my daughter a text and she responded with I will look into this. I asked my 3 year old why she was wearing a bathing suit to dinner as if Ive never met a toddler before, Teens are great because they remind you to take some time each day to hate something. My kids won't stop bugging me for an in-ground pool so tonight we're watching Poltergeist. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 2, 2022 | Exclaim! 4 min read. my 9 and 7 yo each had a friend sleep over this weekend. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 2, 2022 Photo via @sachee on Twitter By Vish Khanna Published Dec 02,. The WP Minute - WordPress news. "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. Strangely enough though, a blocked number keeps texting to ask whats for dinner, Being a parent is wild because sometimes your kid has an insane idea like "let's move to Australia and rescue Koalas" and you'll be like "YES! I picked up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, I was just going to do that. Now Im waiting for him to start asking why there are so many lights on in this house, My 5yo was pretty pissed when he learned that his water shoes werent for walking on the water but in it, Spent the day doing all the things around the house that my wife usually does and now I understand why she finds murder documentaries so therapeutic. 5yo: mommy can you make me a bald egg? Parents m My kid just tried to win an argument with "Because I said so" and I had to break it to him that only parents get to win by saying that. Mrs . You will thank me for this later youre welcome. My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! No word, no hug, not even a wave. A rock where there are no children? Follow me for more parenting tips. I am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids can act. In my will Im leaving my kids an elaborate treasure map to a buried fortune. Points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm. I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. Your supply lists include everything you've already bought but in a different color. I'm teaching my kids to read to help them succeed in school. Sorry I didnt make mashed potatoes. Quick story - I know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one day this week. what ages does the sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door handles stop? Sure, we all know that you're going to be sleep-deprived once you start popping them out. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My child who jokes nonstop about the planet Uranus has recently learned about the country of Djibouti." By. So no, you do not want me for your planning committee. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) 12/8/2022 Like 2 Comments | 13 As far as I can remember,. 97% of parenting is just saying "oh wow" to your kid when they do something totally not wow. ", You know youre getting old when your kids start referring to every old person they know as about your age. , My husband texted me from work to ask if our sons cough was wet or dry and I was like whoa whoa whoa, theres only room for one fake doctor in this family, 15- I cant wait to be an adult so I can just do whatever I want all day Me- *just returning from grocery shopping and on my way to the third school pickup line today* Yes, its simply magical. Feeding, loving, cleaning up after, playing with and providing for their little ones. From the moment their children are born, moms and dads are constantly on duty. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 15, 2022) To be a parent or to not be a parent. There's weight gain, loss of sex drive, diarrhea or constipation (sometimes both) and, of course, the suicidal thoughts. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. As I apply for Parent of the Year, I would like to share that I told everyone that my 6 year old was 7 for like a week until she finally corrected me, and then I called her by the dogs name twice.I would like my prize in small bills pls. At only 17 he has already achieved the dental joke dream Ive been striving to reach for 46 years. Expectant Parent:Me: Don't worry, you'll learn. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) | HuffPost Life The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice" By Caroline Bologna Jul 22, 2022, 01:58 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Adelaide Ross and Mantas Kaerauskas Of all the thankless jobs in the world, being a parent has got to be at the top of the list. Wishing you all a good weekend! This includes clips from How Did This Get Made (Leah asking a question at the Stone Cold live show in LA) and Doughboys (Burger King 6 with Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally) Leah Intro 1 - best movies of . Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I dont usually get to. My 2yo got a kazoo in his goodie bag from a friends birthday. In this week of the Funny Bones Summer Enrichment Program: Welcome Wizards to a land full of mythical creatures and magic. told someone i was 36 today. I told her no. Me: You dont want to be called Canaan anymore? Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. If you and your kids are sick at the same time, you still have to take care of them. Funny tweets that. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? But most of all I'm teaching my kids to read so they won't ask "What does XJ49PB2 spell?" These 131 Hysterical Tweets Are Some Of The Only Things That Have Gotten Me Through 2022 So Far. My 7yo: Daddy could you move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot. 5 min read. Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 21, 2022. When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, In a pie-eating contest, it doesnt matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie. I think about that a lot. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. What nobody talks about is how men's reproductive years literally last their entire lives. Is this what good parenting feels like?? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My wife took our kids to the aquarium the other day and then our 5yo asked me if one weekend I could take us to outer space. pic.twitter.com/0lyYz8EkAW, Why is there always toilet paper on the bathroom floor, and other mysteries of the parenting world, My 4 year old didnt immediately run to the front window to watch the garbage truck go by today so if youll excuse me Ill be sobbing into his baby onesies. Helping in the kitchen this morning. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. I really don't know where this conversation is going. Babies sometimes just happen to people, and that's that. My kids bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of a fire extinguisher. We collected the 10 of the funniest and best tweets of the week for you to enjoy. Believe it or not, we're at the end of 2022. 50 Funniest Parenting Memes + Tweets This Week by Chris Illuminati April 8, 2022 Comments 0 Welcome to another installment of " parents about to lose their shit" better known as the funniest parenting memes & tweets of the week. 5 paused the movie she was watching, handed me the remote and said while Im playing, you can watch something in case you were wondering whos in charge around here. "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older". The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 7-13) "Thoughts and prayers. Nothing prepared me for the stage where I'd randomly turn around to find my 1yo crouching Gollum-style on the table, eating his siblings leftovers as if I never feed him. My kids had money to spend at the store. 16 Hilarious Tweets About the Funny, Quirky Things Kids Do, Top 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents This Week, 21 Funny Tweets to Bring Some Laughs to Your Day, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Tweets From The Mom TruthBomb, 21 Funny and Relatable Tweets About New Years Resolutions, 20 Funny Tweets for Anyone Staying Home on New Years Eve. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? "Time is a human construct." By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 3, 2022) 11/3/2022 Like 1 Comment | 11 Being a parent during the days following Halloween is an insane exercise in self-control. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Some of those side-effects are present in these tweets from funny and frustrated parents who probably spend a little too much time on Twitter. While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. The fact that my 8 year old farted in my face RIGHT after I told him that Id had a terrible day has me thinking that all those fairytales about parents leaving their kids in the woods may have actually been true stories. You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to play through.. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 12, 2022) It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 24-30) "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older" By Caroline Bologna Sep 30, 2022, 09:43 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Sit still you animals ! My wife yells at the kids just before she posts the photo she took of them on Facebook captioned My World. "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice". Students arriving at 8:26 will be late. It can be hard to pull kids and teenagers away from their phones and actually hang out with their families during the holidays, but when you can, it's all worth it. My daughter is "OMG! It's time to play "Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both?". He calls rotisserie meat chicken. You do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Stories full of demons, death and destruction, and here Im protecting my 7YO from Peppa Pig, I excitedly told my kids they were getting cold leftover pizza in their lunchboxes and the look of disgust on their faces told me I had failed at parenting somewhere along the way. Sorry but you're not as important as their AirPods. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . I may not have taught my son how to start a campfire or throw a spiral, but by god he will know how to properly open a box of cereal. Here are some of the best quips Ive come across this week. Wishing you all a good weekend! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 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