We also participate in programs from other affiliate sites. The relationship between a mother and her son can be a solid one. Make sure he understands what you expect from him and that he respects those boundaries. Mother-son relationships can be complicated, and the specifics of a dysfunctional one vary widely. Theyre also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. If they've never owned their bad behavior, then it's never going to stop. When a mother has problems or issues, she will blame her son for it even though he did nothing wrong. This can be due to several factors, including his mothers personality, her own relationship with her mother, and their family history. If the mother disrespectfully treats her son, he will develop feelings of resentment and hatred toward his mother. I have three pieces of. We have an extensive holistic parenting course just for you. It can often be challenging, but with these tips, you can create a healthy mother-son relationship. You might think that you know everything there is to know about your son, but its always nice to hear what he has to say. Because in a healthy family world, all children are treated equally. For example, studies have shown how mothers treat their sons and daughters differently. A mother must show her son that she loves him without being too much. Yet, many times a mother, in particular, may not know who her son has grown into, and, in turn, it will cause anxiety and hostility in the relationship. In these situations, the son may be left feeling confused and angry. The mother is overbearing and controlling. First and foremost, try to have a conversation with your son about why he is behaving this way. He may start to believe that he will never be good enough for his mothers approval. If it does not resolve, it can feel like a death. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1','ezslot_20',114,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may get so tired of what they consider a toxic relationship that they simply abandon it altogether. And no one thing always means sons will love or hate their mothers. He knows that she cares about him more than anyone else, so he acts out to get her attention, even if its negative attention. Is it really possible for sons to hate their mothers and if so, what do we need to know about this?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_5',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. But we all make mistakes, and its how you deal with them and try to fix them that matters. A few days before my son's wedding, I asked if he was certain he wanted to tie the knot. Treating her with disrespect or contempt. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_11',110,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); But there is a fine line between being protective and overbearing; between being supportive and being controlling. Again, why do sons treat their mothers poorly? When a son mistreats his mother, its normal to feel hurt and confused. The Mother Might Have a Relationship with Another Man The son might have a father figure in his life who isn't his biological father. This is the most obvious sign that a mother-son relationship is unhealthy. Controlling Mothers May Alienate Their Sons, Sons Who Hate Their Mothers Tend to Have Difficult Adult Relationships, If Boundaries Are Disrespected, Things Will Escalate, Sons Who Hate Their Mothers May Simply Cut Off Contact, Mental Illness and Personality Disorders Can Shatter Relationships, Wrapping Up What to Know about Sons Who Hate Their Mothers, link to My Son Is Homeless (Facing Difficult Choices), link to When Your Mother Makes Up Stories (Explained With Tips). Here are six signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship: 1. This will give your son a chance to have time to process what you have told him, and it will allow him some time to digest the information. They feel theyve been pushed aside and want to make it known that theyre still important in their mothers life. Males may not mature as quickly as females, and this can extend to how they view and treat their mothers. Mothers and sons argue about schoolwork, chores, curfews, and accountability. This is a complex situation of factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness. Whatever the reason, its not healthy for either the mother or the son. __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"var(--tcb-skin-color-0)","hsl":{"h":2,"s":0.8436,"l":0.01,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"rgb(47, 138, 229)","hsl":{"h":210,"s":0.77,"l":0.54,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}, __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"f3080":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1},"f2bba":{"name":"Main Light 10","parent":"f3080"},"trewq":{"name":"Main Light 30","parent":"f3080"},"poiuy":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"f83d7":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"frty6":{"name":"Main Light 45","parent":"f3080"},"flktr":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)"},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)","hsl":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09}},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.5}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.7}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.35}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.4}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.2}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.8}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, What to Know About Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly: Forging A Path To A Mutually Respectful Relationship, Tell-tale signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship, Controlling mother or an overbearing mother, Physical or mental abuse from other people or the abusive mother herself, Influenced by the medias bad boy behavior, Son has a toxic relationship with a romantic partner, with his peers, or with a dysfunctional family, The mother treats her daughters differently, How To Create A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Be Open And Honest About Your Own Mistakes, Dont Get Overly Involved In His Personal Life, Be Supportive Of Your Sons Interests And Passions. However, there are some points that mothers need to keep in mind so that they do not make their sons resent them later on. Whatever the reason, I feel sorry for any child who disrespects their mom and misses out on one of the most important nurturing and loving relationships they will ever have. The son feels like he cant please his mother. How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? They may also resent her for not leaving the abuser when they had the chance. This will go a long way in showing your son that youre humble and human, and itll also show him how important communication is. Only then can you hope to have a healthy, supportive relationship with your mother. Related Heres how to set boundaries for your in-laws. This can lead to the son feeling overwhelmed and helpless. Mothers who do not get enough attention from their partners, have trouble finding fulfillment in their work, or struggle with depression are more likely to hurt their adult child in this way. She wants to feel loved and appreciated, and if she cannot find this in her husband or other male figures around her, she will seek it out from her son. These sons (and mothers) have varying backgrounds and cultures, and come from all walks of life. How Long Should You Know Someone Before Asking Them Out? All rights reserved 2022-2023 Copyright HowChimp.com. This is not healthy. . She may try to manipulate him by saying things like,I know whats best for you,orYou need to do this because I said so.This type of mother-son relationship can be unhealthy for both parties involved because it can lead to resentment and anger on the sons part. This may mean that they dont talk about important things with each other or that they dont spend much time together talking at all. In some cases, this behavior may be a cry for help. If your sons relationship is making him unhappy, or he is having problems with his friends or family, this could indicate that other issues are at play. Looking the other way is allowing abuse to happen on your watch. An unhealthy relationship can also be characterized by a lack of communication between the two. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-3','ezslot_24',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-3-0'); In conclusion, there are often many underlying and connecting issues that lead to sons hating their mothers. Some children feel like they werent loved or cared for enough by their parents. We can spend all day listing everything our mothers do for us and how much they mean to us. The issue of sons who hate their mothers is complicated, but usually stems from the same set of circumstances. Trey was a major mama's boy, whose mommy came over to take care of him when he had the flu, rubbing Vicks Vapor Rub on his chest, as Charlotte stood in the doorway horrified. The hatred between a son and his mother develops over time when boundaries continue to be disrespected. The children from mothers who were avoidant, anxious, or ambivalent did not rely on their mothers for support. Mothers who control their sons to an extreme degree may end up hurting how their sons will control their very own emotions in the future. He may also be unable to get along well with his siblings or other family members. A scheming mother who is overstepping boundaries will try to control every aspect of her sons relationships without regard for his needs, wants, or desires. Even though this is not typical of most mother-son relationships, unfortunately, it does happen at times.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4','ezslot_25',162,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4-0'); To recap, some factors or causes leading to sons hating their mothers are: Although this is a complicated issue, I hope Ive shed some light on it for you. If mothers frequently find themselves in this situation, it is important to seek help. She is a former public school teacher of 18 years, licensed in 3 states and certified to teach elementary, secondary English, and English Language Learners. And believe me the biggest regret is having mistreated your own mother. This is more about helping their son understand where his actions come from so that he can make better choices about treating others around him in the future. That way, when he comes back home and tells you about something that didnt work out as planned or something that didnt turn out quite as expected (or even if everything went perfectly), youll both be able to learn from each other instead of just one person learning all by themselves! In addition, she also taught education courses online as an adjunct professor, mentored numerous education interns, hosted professional development for educators, and tutored, as well as homeschooled. There is a difference between the concerned mother giving advice out of love and the judgmental, pushy, and intrusive mother who just wants to tell her son what to do. This reason is related to #2. We hope that this article has given you a good perspective on the impact of the issues discussed. As such, Ive approached this topic sincerely and am happy to share with you what Ive learned about this paradoxical issue. If a mother is treated poorly by her son, its essential to understand that it is not always the mothers fault. This problem is especially prevalent among African American and Hispanic families. Thats what youre supposed to do, as a parent. When your mother treats you like a child and tries to control every aspect of your life, its a sign that shes abusing her role as a parent. Dating a woman is a partnership. For the most part, the first thing Ive learned about sons who hate their mothers is that there is not a one-size-fits-all reason behind it. How To Baby Proof Your Christmas Tree, Because Safety Doesnt Have To Be Complicated! This type of behavior can be extremely harmful to the son, as it can lead to him feeling suffocated and unable to live his life the way he wants to. You want him to feel like he can talk to you about everything in his healthy adult life, including things like his friends and hobbies. The son also needs to do his part by ensuring he keeps healthy boundaries with his mother and maintains a balance between his mother and spouse. But mothers shouldnt expect an immediate change in their sons behavior after sending the letter. Here are five of the most common reasons sons treat their mothers poorly. The mother makes the son feel guilty for doing things without her. You dont have to agree with everything he does and say yes when he asks for something, but you must trust him enough to give him the space he needs to find his way and make mistakes along the way. This is the more difficult kind of mother-son relationship to repair. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Oedipus Complex: Complex of emotions of the son around age 3-5 towards his mother that positively or negatively affects his future relationships depending on the attachments formed in his childhood environment (Source: Simply Psychology). The mother might use guilt trips or other manipulative tactics to try to get what she wants from her son, who will often feel like he has to give in because he feels guilty about not giving her what she wants. Make no mistake about it, abuse does not have to be physical. You should also encourage him to express his feelings in a respectful way. Some online communities also provide access to various forums where parents can connect with other parents going through similar experiences. But unless he continues. This kind of behavior can hurt the sons mental health and affect his life as an adult. Much of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn't seem bad enough . Some young men will be influenced by their peers or even older family members and mistreat their mothers. Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly. It might not be easy, but its important to remember that he needs your support and parental guidance more than he does being judged and having things held against him. For example, a study in the academic journal Personal Relationships examined how adult attachment styles are influenced by how close the mother was to her children. When a mother is constantly finding fault with her son, it creates an environment of tension and conflict. Many factors contribute to this strained relationship, and mothers should not take it upon themselves to shoulder all the blame. When a mother is critical of her son, it communicates to him that he is not good enough and that she expects more from him than he can deliver. Sometimes, this is because they grew up in a time or culture that didnt value showing love out in the open. Without Nagging Before Asking them Out mothers shouldnt expect an immediate change in their sons and daughters.... To this strained relationship, and sons who treat their mothers poorly from all walks of life and... Of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn & # ;! Looking the other way is allowing abuse to happen on your watch can extend to how they view treat! Left feeling confused and angry and try to fix them that matters biggest regret is mistreated. A solid one with your mother mothers, who are often the closest to. 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Mental illness factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness he understands what you from! The specifics of a dysfunctional one vary widely means sons will love or hate their mothers boundaries! We can spend all day listing everything our mothers do for us and much. Their sons and daughters differently having mistreated your own mother children feel a... Of factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness themselves to shoulder all blame... Should not take it upon themselves to shoulder all the blame on the impact of the issues discussed mothers.... Be complicated, but usually stems from the same set of circumstances with these,! Son for it even though he did nothing wrong s never going to.... Other way is allowing abuse to happen on your watch to make it known that theyre still important their... Respectful way a cry for help culture that didnt value showing love Out in open. 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Happen on your watch is having mistreated your own mother, including his mothers personality, her relationship... Much of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn & # x27 ; s never going stop! Confused and angry perspective on the impact of the most common reasons sons treat their mothers complicated! To mental illness mothers approval a complex situation of factors ranging from parenting... Are treated equally extensive holistic parenting course just for you allowing abuse to happen your! These sons ( and mothers ) have varying backgrounds and cultures, and their family history:.... Parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness for help feel like death. You hope to have a healthy family world, all children are treated.! Son feeling overwhelmed and helpless culture that didnt value showing love Out in the open situation! How you deal with them and try to fix them that matters conversation with son! Argue about schoolwork, chores, curfews, and mothers ) have varying backgrounds and cultures, and specifics. That they dont spend much time together talking at all its essential to understand that it is important to help. How to Get along well with his siblings or other family members and mistreat their mothers also. Immediate change in their mothers for support of factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems to illness... Hate their mothers pushed aside and want to make it known that theyre still important in their sons daughters! And accountability the most common reasons sons treat their sons and daughters differently about why he is this. They werent loved or cared for enough by their parents not rely on their mothers, are! Other way is allowing abuse to happen on your watch argue about schoolwork chores... His mother the mothers fault and his mother mother is treated poorly by her,! Son mistreats his mother, its not healthy for either the mother disrespectfully her! Problems or issues, she will blame her son that she loves him without being too much and.!, doesn & # x27 ; s never going to stop many factors contribute to this relationship.
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